Several important developments this week have driven us even farther down the artisanal-sustainable-local path than we expected to go with this wedding.
You already know that our invitations will be designed and printed by two of our most creative friends, Anders and David. My mom has volunteered to arrange the centerpieces, a task for which she has demonstrated her considerable talents--and we hope to strike a deal with an organic farm in Pittsboro to supply the flowers.
But here's the new news: homemade cupcakes and heirloom pork!
Our fabulous, beautiful friend Amy is not only distinguished by her generosity as a cat-sitter and her infectious Kiwi pride, but she is also a distinguished graduate of the pastry program of the French Culinary Institute.
Now, I can bake. Lord knows I can bake. But I cannot make it pretty until it gets in your mouth and you forget what it looked like in the first place. I had considered making the cupcakes despite the warnings from every side (I am foolhardy), but I wondered if I could live with them being less than beautifully finished.
Enter Amy, who has enthusiastically agreed to help with the baking and the decorating. Not only that, but has offered to practice her buttercream dahlias in the intervening months so that our dessert will not be the least bit amateur but quite extraordinary. Proof of her skill is in the photo:
Having Amy's advice and counsel throughout the planning and baking process will be undoubtedly invaluable. Thank you, Amy!
As for the meat, we have been buying delectable turkeys, chickens, and ducks from a tiny farm run by a lovely family in Orange County, and they recently announced that they have formed a cooperative venture with their (rather amazing) neighbors to produce pork as well.
Today we got a delivery of chicken from Fern Hill, and I casually mentioned that we would love to find a local pig to serve at our wedding reception, and Nancy was totally on board with the idea! In fact, she suggested they could raise a pig specifically for the occasion, and that there is enough advance notice to grow it to the ideal size for our dinner. Out of respect for the most urban among you, I'm not going to say what the Tamworth heritage pigs are fed, but it is a thousand times healthier than industrial feed and literally comes from the neighborhood.
Of course, this means that will be barbecuing it, not pan-searing rib chops with fancy French sauce, but it also means we will use virtually the whole pig with a minimum of waste and expense of energy for transportation (90 pork chops might require 12-15 pigs).
Nancy casually mentioned that we could even slaughter the pig as part of the wedding. I demurred, as you can imagine.
Friday, March 28, 2008
A Butcher, a Baker . . .
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Food, Flowers, Farming, and Fabric
So, I undertook the spectacular waste of time known as "inspiration boarding." I think this activity was invented by bridal magazines as a way to be more internetty.
I'm not going to lie and say it wasn't pretty fun.
I think this activity is probably useful if you are hiring a coordinator, or even to share with your caterer. It's a snapshot of how you want the day to look and feel--except instead of you and your fiancé in the pictures there are catalog models. Maybe it can help you make consistent decisions if you are risk of veering off course into fluorescent colors or a "theme" (eek!)
I'm not sure the mosaic I made reveals anything about me or our wedding that you didn't already know. It's going to be rustic, and we're going to eat well. Have a look after the break and tell me if this silliness is a window into my psyche:
Click on the mosaic to see the pictures in big, lavish detail!
Unsuitable
One obvious upside to having a two-dude wedding: no dresses. The dress shopping that I read about in the bridal blogs and magazines sounds like a nightmare, a tortuous ritual to make women feel fat and poor while chasing the opportunity--often fulfilled--to look more beautiful on one day than on any other day of her life. It's an emotional roller coaster that rattles enough to shake all the money out of your pockets.
For men, the pursuit of wedding-day attire has a different if equally unpleasant dimension. There are simply too few options. I happen to think tuxedoes look dashing on New Year's Eve or at a charity ball, but I find them to be somewhat strange at a wedding, especially during the day. Rented clothes? Weird.
Suits are troublesome because they suggest business rather than celebration. Off-the-rack suits are particularly conservative, generally made of dull, serious fabrics and cuts that don't so much dance across the floor as sit in a boardroom chair.
So what I think I want is a vintage suit. Something gorgeously Edwardian. Or a vintage-looking suit. Something like this:
Maybe what I really want is to look more like Daniel Craig!
The quest has not been easy, and it gives me great sympathy for brides. I have lost two auctions on eBay so far. I'm new to eBay, and I find it a bit intimidating. Nonetheless, it appeals to my competitive nature, so I'll probably warm up to it.
I'm also setting aside time on my two spring visits to New York to shop at the sorely missed Century 21 and Housing Works Thrift Shop. Any suggestions? Anyone have a beautiful old suit that I can take to Leung's (the best tailor I ever found) and make to fit me?
I Will Never Mock Vegans Again
Well, I probably will. Especially those holier-than-thou, beef-is-destroying-the-planet* pinko-commie hippy vegans with dreds and foofy skirts (I'm talking about you, Whole Foods guy; no matter what ethnic sounding Indian name you give it, it's still a skirt!). And who can blame me, really? They can be so condescendingly annoying, particularly when they try to stop me from eating fois gras. As the superior species, it is entirely appropriate to force feed fowl so their insides get all fatty and delicious.
But I digress. The reason that I have decided that vegans need a little more respect from me is that since Emerson and I gave up our stupid "cleanse" idea and substituted it with our "veganism 'til Easter" idea, I have inadvertently lost 15 pounds. Yes, you read that correctly. Fifteen pounds. In about a month. Take that South Beach!
It felt very good to put on my suit for the first time in several months and have it be too big. So we have now substituted our "veganism 'til Easter" idea with the "veganism 'til the Wedding" idea. After which, of course, we will gorge ourselves on pork and oysters and feel icky until Christmas. But dammit I will get my BMI down below my waist size if I have to take every locally grown organic vegetable in the Triangle with me!
*Actually, beef is destroying the planet. It takes 15,500 liters of water to make 1 kilogram of beef. But it's so tasty, I try not to think about that too much. I don't want to hurt my head.
Emerson adds: After three days of "Paschal Feasting" on every form of meat, starch, and booze I can lay my hands on, I feel like a piece of grade-B corn-fed beef dragged through a toxic slurry of hormones and antibiotics. I personally cannot wait to get back on the righteous path of vegan living!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Please Don't Stop the Music (If You're Just Gonna Start Talking)
We have decided--barring any wonderful surprises--that we won't have a band during the reception. Our fantasy of a jazz-influenced bluegrass ensemble that could deftly handle an Ira Gershwin number and a bit of indie pop . . . well, we let it go.
Settling on a DJ is starting to look like a difficult task, too. On the one hand, we'd be content to plug in an iPod. Our playlist is all but done already. We don't want a DJ who thinks that the Chicken Dance is not a horror. We don't want to be announced like boxers entering the ring. In fact we don't want the DJ to talk at all, or even to choose the music.
On the other hand, we surely need a DJ. Someone to set-up and operate the AV equipment. Someone to turn down the music, turn up the mic, and hand it to whomever is about to toast us. Someone to tweak the playlist just a little bit, should we need to get some bodies moving.
What we need is a DJ who has good taste and the good sense to blend in. A minimalist DJ. You can imagine that we'd have a friend who'd be perfect for the job, yet we don't. Something tells me this is going to cost a lot more than it should.
Oh, and if you happen to know the world's coolest, most flexible little bluegrass band, you can be sure we haven't relinquished that dream entirely.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Still a New Yorker in My Cold, Bitter Heart
Many of you have heard me complaining about the incompetence of salespeople here. We made five telephone calls to the Marriott that were never returned. It took a crazy long time for the caterer to follow-up with us. Even the farm gives us nerve-wracking long periods of radio silence, though they have the excuse of being busy delivering baby animals and hand-crafting delicious cheese.
Today my fury boiled over in the direction of Capital Limo. I found their contact info on a directory of "gay friendly" businesses, so I thought I'd reward them by proposing our transportation needs to them. I sent an electronic request for a quote on February 20. Three weeks later, having heard nothing, I asked again.
The reply I got said, "We got your request, and our reply must have landed in your spam box," which: No, it didn't. But, I was willing to let it go, because that's a white lie we all use sometimes.
The reply was also meant to have a PDF attached, which it did not. Again, I was willing to let that go, because I forget the attachment more often than I remember it.
So, setting aside the facts that 1. they should have replied to me right away and 2. this email should have included a quote and 3. they should be calling me on the phone anyway, I decided to call.
Emerson: "I'm calling for M***, please."
Fool: "M*** is not in the office today, is there something I can help you with?"
Emerson: "Yes, she tried to email me a quote, but the attachment was garbled."
Fool: "Oh, well, why don't you call another time when she's in the office?"
Or, why don't YOU look up the quote and fax it to me, and/or take a message for her to call me back first thing tomorrow?! Lazy!!
Anyhow, I'm rather pleased with my follow-up email, thus:I'm going to have to go with another transportation company. You all should attend a sales workshop or something.
Best wishes,
Emerson
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Keeping Track of You
Because the Marriott did not make a block of rooms for us, we won't know who's staying there, unless you tell us!
If and when you make a Marriott reservation, please send us an email or post a comment here. This will help us with transportation (and after-party?) planning.
P.S. #1: Please let us know if you wish for us to find you a roommate to share the cost of your room.
P.S. #2: Please let us know if you are interested in arranging shared childcare.
My First Bridezilla Dream
Am I seriously blogging about a dream I had last night? Who am I, lonelygirl15?
Well, you'd blog too if you'd just had the most topical dream ever.
I woke up early, early, early this morning in a panic. Just a moment before, I had been living through our wedding day, and it was 3:30 in the afternoon and only a few of our guests had trickled in. Where were they? We had forgotten to book the buses! We would have to send taxis to the hotel to pick them all up!
As the dream went on, it seemed that we had also forgotten to book the DJ! and plan the ceremony music! and order flowers! and iron our suits!
Anyhow, this dream lit a fire under my ass to get moving on our essential to-do list. Some tasks we have left are quite complicated, and time is slipping away.
I promise that by October 11, we will have buses booked and we will not leave you stranded at the hotel. Obviously, my conscience will not allow me to sleep until I am sure of it.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Sunrise/Sunset cont...
In an earlier post, I mentioned how perfect it was that sunset was going to be during the cocktail hour, right before dinner. We were very proud of ourselves for inadvertently planning around the rotation of the earth. However, we have recently made several observations, after discussions with photographers, that give us pause.
Our wedding is three weeks after the fall equinox. This weekend is three weeks before the spring equinox. Thus, physics and astronomy being what they are, this weekend should have been a very good indicator of what the sun will look like on our wedding day. And let me tell you, the lighting at 5pm is horrible! It gets dark a lot sooner than you might expect a day to get when sunset is officially at 6:45 pm.
We are therefore fairly certain that the ceremony will be at 4pm now, rather than at 5pm. Because as much as we reject many notions of traditional wedding photography, lighting remains one of the few things we cannot defy.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Grooms on Film
This week, we are interviewing the final candidates for photographer. I wouldn't have predicted that we'd need to interview them--looking at their work and their rate cards would seem sufficient. But as I read somewhere, "Other than your mother, the photographer is the person you're going to be talking to most on your wedding day. Make sure it's someone you get along with."
Both our photographers tend toward the "journalistic" style that's become very popular (and very expensive) these days. Both do a good deal of sports photography, and have a good eye for movement--few static poses here. Andrew has done some beautiful nature and fashion photography, and I think he brings a fresh eye to even the most conventional family grouping. Leslie composes beautiful pictures that show a good sense of space and textures, as well as "in-between" moments that give you a feel for the flow of an event.
Not four weeks ago, I was determined to go with a non-professional photographer, such as a student. Turns out, not even the most thrifty bargain brides eschew the professional photographer. Friends are problematic, students are unreliable, disposable cameras on the tables are just a ridiculous idea. Photography is as important as music, apparently, and is meant to take up about the same amount of the budget.
What really converted my thinking, though, was when I calculated how photographers make a living. I imagine that no photographer does more than 25 weddings in a good year. If that's supposed to add up to a living wage, what is the unit cost? Not cheap!
Ain't Too Proud To Beg
Registering for gifts is reputedly the most fun thing about wedding planning, although it is a custom that bumps against every taboo about generosity. It sure is awkward to ask people for very specific (and sometimes very expensive) things you want, when the purpose of a wedding is meant to be more high-minded. And, of course, you can count on us to make the whole process more stressful than it ought to be. I've mentioned before that I'm a "maximizer"; the simple way of putting that is: Worst. Shopper. Ever.
Nonetheless, we buckled down this weekend to choose the material things that we want most as part of the home we make together. And, I hope you'll indulge our asking, and know that we are deeply grateful for anything you might choose to give us on the occasion of our marriage, including your well wishes and prayers.
We are probably most excited about Heath Ceramics, where we registered for enough dinnerware to fulfill our dream of hosting many Thanksgivings to come. Heath is a pottery studio in Sausalito, California that has been operating continuously since the 1940s, and it is renowned for the remarkable quality of its products and boldness of its designs. Every piece is finished by hand, and the factory adheres to the strictest possible environmental standards and respect for workers.
Only one place carried a variety of affordable flatware stylish enough to complement Heath's plates and bowls, and that was Crate & Barrel, where we also registered for high-quality organic cotton bed and bath linens at reasonable prices.
Sorry, Mr. W. Sonoma, but you simply couldn't compete on selection, price, or convenience with Amazon where we registered for kitchen items, including cookware, bakeware, small appliances, cutlery, and tools.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
The Holy Land of Pork
We are dreaming of a honeymoon in Portugal. It has everything we could want from a destination: good weather in October, beautiful scenery, fine wine, and the world's greatest roast pork.
As we looked at possibilities (Montenegro, Italy, California), this article in Travel + Leisure convinced us that Portugal was just the spot. Coincidentally, Michael and I postponed our first date back in 2003 because I was called to Lisbon for work. I never made it outside the city, but that visit gave me a taste for more--especially my last night.
Lisbon was lovely and friendly, but I had struck out with expensive hotel food, inexpensive hotel food, and concierge-recommended touristy restaurants. On my final stroll around the city, I found a place near the Palacio de Sao Bento, Espirito dos Tachos--which I believe is still there because I found it on Google Earth--was modern and cool and inexpensive, and had the most succulent roast pork I'd ever put a fork into. I must have started with sweet breads and had wine and liquor too, and I'm sure my bill came to around $25. The dollar was stronger then . . .
Portugal is also famous for its salt-cod dishes, which are a Christmas favorite of ours, and go way back with Michael's family. The Portuguese make a hash of bacalao and potatoes that's quite rich. Portugal is a very maritime country and has unsalted fish aplenty. We'd love to spend a few days on the coast, enjoying the gorgeous beaches (sunset over the Atlantic!) and all the wonderful seafood.
Across the wine country and the north of Portugal, numerous monasteries have been converted into design hotels like this one called pousadas. Portugal's wines are growing very popular now. I was surprised to learn that Portugal has Europe's oldest "DOC" system. And colheita port, though prohibitively expensive here, would be worth the travel. Fish, booze, and pork: doesn't Portugal sound like a land of sensory delights? It's like Eden for the epicure.
The oustanding question remains: can we afford it? How "simply" can we travel and still make it romantic? Michael's parents (with a note of regret in their voices) were adamant when we asked: the honeymoon is not a cost to cut.
Country Roads
We took Michael's parents out to the farm on Monday, which turned out to be a gorgeous, sunny, 70-degree day. I could tell they had misgivings before we left. Perhaps because we had forewarned his mother and sister that they should wear closed-toe shoes to the wedding on account of the goat poo. But when Michael's dad stepped out of the car, he said, "It is gorgeous out here!" One parent down, three to go!
Elodie Farms is a real, working goat farm. It's not a stage-set for rural fantasies like le Petit Hameau or this place in Apex. That means there are live animals and they poo right where they're standing. They also make noise and smell . . . um, earthy. It may be a bit too rustic for some tastes, but I find it irresistable.
The family warmed up to the rustic setting very quickly. Thanks undoubtedly to the lovely weather and the pretty drive through the hills of Durham County's old tobacco country. Thanks as well to the abundance of adorable baby goats, stumbling all over the property.
This is an exciting time of year because February is kidding time. Anne, who operates the farm along with its owner Dave, says that they expect 75 kids this month. That means lots of nursing mothers, which means lots of goat milk, which means marathon hours of cheese making. Hopefully some of that cheese will end up on the buffet at our wedding. We are nuts for the stuff, and it is hard to come by. Last fall we tasted their Goat Gruyere melted over French onion soup--divinity in a bowl.
We are also hoping that the new barn will be built in plenty of time for the big day. The old barn is coming down now, though its half-demolished skeleton looks no worse than the shambles it was. Dave and Anne are assembling the financing they need for the new construction, which will be able to accomodate more guests for their renowned monthly dinners and weddings like ours, as well as meetings and retreats. It will also have a new dairy and a cheese kitchen. I hope that our commitment to them and the guarantee of future business earns them points on their loan application!
After cooing and admiring the kids, and watching Gunndi gleefully run around with the farm dogs, Michael's mother and I took a look at the farmhouse porch where we plan to have the rehearsal dinner and the cocktail hour. It's a 100-year-old house with graceful proportions and lanterns that hang from the eaves in front. A bit run-down but undeniably quaint. One of the dogs had left a rather mutilated carcass--some kind of mammal--right on the step. I think that tops the list of unwanted wedding gifts. Michael's mom may require a little more persuasion than his dad.
Wear those closed-toe shoes, ladies!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness
And we want to be clean young men....
We recently decided to go on a twelve day ayurvedic cleanse, where you gradually eliminate various kinds of food until you are consuming nothing but clear vegetable broth and parsley tea. Now I like parsley as much as the next guy, but it does not make for a satiating meal. And every time we decide to do something like this (can anyone say "cabbage soup diet"?) we end up drawing undue attention to our meals to the point where it becomes so stressful that we wind up buying a leather coat off the back of the truck of an Italian albino with a glass eye outside of the 63rd St. Starbucks because milk and bananas are not the foodstuffs upon which to build rational judgment.
Also, we are busy people during the week and our weekends, when we were scheduled to be consuming nothing, we like to be active. The puppy needs running and her daddies need to get off their fat asses and exercise (well, I speak only for myself; Emerson still manages to run 4 or 5 miles nearly every day). And the cat needs some precious alone time. Oh man, does the cat need some frickin' alone time.
So we modified our plan. We are going non-grain vegan for a couple weeks to clean out the system. I am, of course, terribly incredulous about the value of fasting and the dubious prospect of not eating any animal products for the next two weeks. But we are using it as a jumping off point for a year of healthy eating so both of us can drop a few inches off our waists so we look good in pictures on the big day.
At least that's why I'm doing it. It has nothing to do with the massive beef recall, since the chance of non-organic meat crossing my palate are equal to or less than the chance I will end up with a successful modeling career. Regardless, it does make sense to give your body a break every now and then. I am under no illusions that I will be clearing out an "toxins" or some such nonsense, but given that we spent the first three months in Durham eating every meal off the grill (and hanger steak is a lot easier to grill than mung beans), a little non-grain vegan might be just what the holistic doctor ordered...
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Durham Is Hospitable but Low on Hotels
The Triangle has a handful of truly cool hotels. We spent New Year's Eve at a luxury golf resort at Duke University, but the room rates will be out of reach for most of our guests. Nearer to the farm there is a charming inn called the Arrowhead. Our recent crew of New York visitors stayed there and proclaimed it lovely! tidy! and friendly! But it, too, is very expensive.We tried to work on a group rate at the Durham Marriott-Civic Center. Fall is the "high season" for Durham, and block reservations are not being accomodated. But we still want our guests to stay there! According to the sales manager, it's going to be a Huge Weekend. Right now, rooms are still $129, but they will continue to rise as the date grows nearer. Reserve soon, please! The Marriott reservation number is 800-228-9290.
We believe that the Marriott is fully booked for the weekend. Please see this post for updates and alternatives.
The Marriott is located downtown, a straight 15-minute drive to the farm, and within a few blocks of some of our favorite restaurants, including The Federal, Piedmont, and Pop's. It should also be a fun place to have an after-party.
If you are looking for a Bargain and don't care about walking to good restaurants and bars (except one), we have arranged a Group Rate of $78 at the Courtyard Durham. The reservation number is 800-321-2211. The Courtyard is within a 10-minute drive or cab ride of downtown Durham and very near to Duke.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Save-The-Date
A seemingly simple task, right? Unless, like us, you're somewhat obsessed with being unique. We just don't feel like any of you want a picture of us on your 'fridge. Right? So what are we going to do that feels custom and costs . . . um, nothing? Keep an eye on your p.o. boxes, folks, something cool is on the way.
Not that we have any idea what that's gonna be, at this point.
Oh, here's the essential information you need: October 11, 2008. RDU. It's a lock.
UPDATE: We bought the save-the-date postcards last weekend at the North Carolina Museum of Art in Raleigh. The gift-shop ladies were a little surprised that we would buy 60 of the same postcard, and they asked us "What for?" We both hesitated, as if they wouldn't understand, and it wouldn't be worth explaining. Michael said, "Invitations," and I said, "Save-the-date cards." I would think that this tentative, compound answer was somehow perfectly clear. But I still don't know why we were so hesitant about saying it.
Anyhow, the important piece of information here is that we plan to mail these cards on March 1. That means we have two weeks to finalize the hotel room rate and to register for gifts. Holy crap!
Large is the Fun Format
Choosing the right wines to serve with dinner is going to be a big challenge. There are apparently two possible directions: serve the best available wine because of the importance of the occasion, or serve the cheapest available wine that will pass muster with your guests (knowing as you do their level of discrimination).
Quality and price are the obvious axes of wine buying, but I would add two more factors: festivity and sustainability. By festivity I mean that the wine ought to look and taste and seem fun and add to the cheerfulness of the day--the "best" wine may be too serious. By sustainability, of course, I mean that the choice ought not to niggle one's conscience by being wasteful of resources.
These factors and my valences as a maximizer (not a satisficer) lead me into a morass of decision-making anxiety and paralysis. I have consulted Jancis, perhaps the world's most respected critic, though her expertise in the highest tier of the luxury market makes me a little distrustful of her bargain selections. Dottie and John are my constant companions at the wine store, but I am woefully forgetful about archiving their columns. All these and many more wine writers responsibly advocate for the reader to cultivate his or her own idiosyncratic taste in unique and surprising wines. Inarguable advice, but it doesn't get us what we need for a wedding reception, and that is a crowd pleaser!
One thing is certain: we can maximize festivity and sustainability (and maybe price) by choosing wine in Magnums. Because Magnums (1.5 liter bottles) have a higher ratio of wine to glass, they are relatively lighter to transport--saving fuel and reducing emissions--and use less materials overall. And isn't there something especially merry about the Magnum? You see that unpretentious big bottle and you think, "There is gonna be some drinkin'!"
And here is one more helpful certainty: political economist and wine expert Dr. Tyler Colman has determined that on the East Coast, it is more "carbon efficient" to drink wine shipped from Europe rather than trucked across the continent from California.
It is good for a maximizer to place boundaries on the seemingly limitless (and therefore oppressive) array of choices. It allows him to focus on such confounding questions as, "Is the Cotes du Roussillon really the world's most exciting wine region today?" and "Can I serve a creamy Chardonnay without losing my wine cred?"
Of course, the one boundary I really need is a deadline.
Break Bread/Cut Rug
Both of us grew up in the apparatus of Catholic education--some combination of Catholic schools and CCD--during a time when the so-called Baltimore Catechism was no longer taught and had not yet been replaced. Our religious education was somewhat unbounded and had a very different flavor from that which our parents received, which was quite classical and involved the memorization of many definitions and rules. But we were, like our parents, made to memorize something specific that stays with me:
"A sacrament is an outward sign instituted by Christ to give grace."
These days, it's far more common to hear sacraments described as milemarkers, ceremonies that highlight and bless certain passages in life. This is a grace, for sure. But in planning our wedding, we have hoped to retain some of the old-fashioned sense of "giving grace." It is not merely describing an event, but it is bringing about a fundamental change. It might be doing something, dare I say it, supernatural.
We also hope to retain the role of Christ. There is no shortage of people who think it odd that we remain committed and practicing Catholics. There are many who assume we are the "wink-and-a-nudge" kind of Christians--that we are in it for the showbiz. Speaking for myself, if not for Michael, it's not the "outward sign" part that keeps me practicing the sacraments. It's the Christ, and the grace.
This sacramental sense should be felt in every part of our wedding day. From the ceremony to the dinner to the dance party. There's a reason why this wedding-day structure is the norm: because it fits the way we humans experience encounters with grace. We pray, we share, we celebrate. We are not going to water it down by replacing the scriptures with love poems, or substituting speeches for prayers. We have selected readings that are so full of revelation that they blow my mind every time I read them. We have been scouring the missal and Book of Common Prayer for the right words and the right order of parts. And when the disco music starts, we may turn into a different sense of ceremony, but it ought still to be elevating of the soul!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Shall We Dance?
We are both torn on the idea of "special" dances at the wedding. We have both been to many a wedding where the guests sit quietly, politely, growing hungrier by the minute, while various relations of the bride and groom swap dances, awkwardly swaying flatfooted to all five and half minutes of "Butterfly Kisses". Needless to say we are against it.
We will dance with our mothers and we will dance with each other. That's it. And now, I'm even having second thoughts about the latter. I always thought of it as unavoidable. But this week brought some news that should give any would-be spouse cause for alarm. While the chance that our rhythm-less attempts at harmonious coupling on the dance floor will embarrass us remains the same, the chance that one of us will keel over mid-two-step has become infinitely* greater! That's right. In Florida, a bride died in the middle of her first dance!
Granted she had a heart condition brought about by childhood diabetes, and I'm pretty sure that my non-alcoholic steatohepatitis carries no acute threat of fatality. However, as if I didn't have enough to think about planning this thing, now I have to worry about Ira Gershwin killing me with a thirty-two bar song structure....
* In order to determine the -fold increase in a phenomenon, one simply takes the current number of instances of the occurrence and divides by the previous number of instances. In this case, there were previously zero (0) reported deaths during wedding first-dances; now there is at least one (1) reported death. And everyone knows that any number divided by zero is infinity!
