As I mentioned earlier, we did get our thank-you notes in the mail before Christmas vacation, nine weeks after our wedding, which is hardly a heroic feat, especially considering how urgent most thank-you notes seem. A boss I once had would get quite angry at late thank-you letters, and I remember her saying, "A same-day acknowledgment is so important and so possible!" Possible, yes - but important?
The spirit of her complaint is true: gratitude should be delivered with a sense of urgency.
We sent a little more than 50 thank-you notes. We did not send Christmas cards this year, because that would have been a ludicrous amount of correspondence all at once, and we could throw a little "Merry Christmas" into each note. It took just two weeknights to get them all written and addressed and in the mail.
Here were some things that helped:
1. Keeping it simple. We did not order custom stationery. In fact, we did not use pre-printed thank-you cards. We used these simple, recycled white note cards. The only real aesthetic call-back to our wedding was the return-address rubber stamp that was produced for our invitations. We added a little holiday cheer with this year's Nutcracker postage stamps. The result was, I think, both casual and elegant if (as one friend has said) a bit "Emily Post-ish."
2. Fool-proof writing instructions. I'm sure you've all read and internalized these tips from Leslie Harpold, which are so utterly perfect as to require neither discussion nor description. I remember finding this little article to be heart-warming when I first read it, and Harpold's passing makes it not just a resource but a treasure.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Extravagant Gifts, Simple Thanks
Friday, October 31, 2008
Please Be Seated
Cruising around other wedding blogs as well as commercial sites gave me a serious inferiority complex about my shortage of DIY skills. Although our wedding had a "hand crafted" feel on the whole, that was mostly a matter of our obsession with details and tricking actual artisans and craftspeople to do our bidding.
Our one craft project, which I blogged about in September, turned out nicely, though, and I thought I'd share the final product with you:
I'm not sure whence we stole the family-wedding-pictures idea, but I'm seeing it pop up all over the place, and I'm really glad we pulled it off, and grateful to both our moms for helping out.
This last close-up shows the milk-bottle flower arrangements that the moms made so nicely with celosia, eucalyptus and some kind of berry that I have yet to identify. The framed portrait you see is of Michael's grandparents looking so elegant.
By the way, the card basket cost $5 on the clearance shelf at a craft store and the guest book was a cheap $7 acid-free journal from Barnes & Noble, with a vacation picture glued to the cover. My philosophy on these things was, if we don't have the time, money or inclination to really make these anything special, then lets not spend any real money on something that will just be a compromise. What's written inside is what we'll cherish anyway.
P.S. Thanks again to Missy for taking great snaps!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Cost Cutting and More Cutting
I picked up our programs and menus this morning. They look lovely. Remember when I asked why offset printers could charge such radically different prices for the same job? Well, I found out.
We went with the cheapest printer. We supplied our own stock - unbleached, recycled paper. They wrecked it. I don't know how, but they wrecked it. They couldn't explain why or how, but I doubt they are secretly hoarding my paper, so I believe they wrecked it.
They replaced it with their own virgin paper. So, not only are our programs not printed on (expensive) unbleached, recycled paper - we used twice as much paper as actually necessary. We are definitely not getting that LEED Platinum certificate now.
Hey, thanks trees! Nice knowin' ya!
I'm gonna go set some carbon credits on fire . . . 
Manifest Destiny by Alexis Rockman, Brooklyn Museum of Art
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Crafty!
For each weekend left until the wedding, we have little projects, mostly arts and crafts. Thankfully, we know that all the really big stuff is covered (catering, venue, music, ceremony). I'm glad we got those things out of the way so we could feel free to try some slightly outlandish (for us) things that might fail, knowing they are of minor importance.
Our first project was actually rather successful. We are using the very traditional two-card seating system. Each guest will pick up an "escort card" upon entering the reception tent, and then at each seat will be a "place card." I believe that giving people specific seating assignments helps alleviate the awkwardness of choosing your spot at a "mixed" table of friends and strangers.
It only came to mind recently that this system doesn't exactly lend itself to an outdoor wedding. Lots of little pieces of paper flying around is neither charming nor particularly "green." Fortunately, we are not the first people to seek a way to hold those little cards down.
Somewhere in my obsessive scouring of the internet's matrimonial treasures, I found a picture of an escort table crisscrossed with ribbon. It looked quite lovely – very formal, and a bit more interesting than some of the simpler options. I filed it away in my mind, but later – couldn't remember where I had seen it.
Fortunately, this project is more popular as a bulletin board than as a tabletop, so applicable examples and instructions were widely available. Also, Michael and I – although not artsy/craftsy – are also not total idiots. Thanks to the crafts store that bears my fiancé's name, we were able to assemble enough ribbon, scrap booking supplies and double-sided tape (no hot glue guns - that's a serious level of commitment) to make this happen.
The downside of this project is that I spent hours looking for the escort-table idea that I had remembered but failed to bookmark. In doing so, I saw so many - dozens upon dozens! - of great place card ideas. I felt so inferior to all these creative folks! I realized how many cool, creative projects we hadn't even tried. But I didn't want to change course. A simple, utilitarian display is infinitely more "our style" than any cool deployment of corks, pine cones, seashells or origami.
And I am sure that no one will show up to our wedding having just spent hours clicking through galleries at The Knot or MS Weddings. I hope not, anyway!
Update: Look what somebody else posted today (!): http://tinyurl.com/682455
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Philately Will Get You Everywhere
Emerson recently posted about how the post office is making our lives miserable. Briefly, our reply card is a post card and thus requires only 27 cents of postage, but the post office only makes horrible, ugly tropical fruit post card stamps valued at 27 cents. Tropical fruit, while nice, does not "fit" with our invitation, which has more of a, well, let's just say non-tropical feel.
So after going so far as to calling the post office to find out if they were planning on issuing any other 27 cent stamps in the near future, we realized we would either have give up and put on a first class stamp or come up with another solution. We, of course, came up with another solution since when it comes to the matrimonial-industrial complex failure is not an option.
One of us (probably Emerson) had the brilliant idea that, while first-class stamps today may be 42 cents, they weren't always. At some point in U.S. history, they must have been 27 cents! So the solution becomes simple: Find out when that is, travel back in time and buy up one hundred 27 cent stamps! And by "travel back in time", I mean look on eBay...
Well, it turns out that the U.S. never had a 27 cent stamp before 2008; but back in the early 1990s, during the introduction of self-adhesive stamps, first class postage was 29 cents. And that was close enough for us.
Our second mission was to find an acceptable image that would work stylistically with our invitation. In the early 90s, there were so many wonderful varieties of stamps to choose from! Ducks! Thomas Jefferson! Eagles! More ducks! Squirrels! Wood ducks! Hearts! Various Olympic sports! We ultimately chose a stamp that went very well with our evergreen motif: a pine cone!
Our third mission was to find a seller, or sellers, who had 100 of these stamps from 1993, un-used, at a reasonable price. A book of 29 cent stamps is valued at $5.80 and a book of 42 cent stamps is valued at $8.40. So as long as we kept the price under $8.40 a book, we were spending no more than our most expensive 2008 option, which was a regular old Liberty Bell stamp. And unbelievably, we succeeded. Some guy in Michigan had 5 books of pine cone stamps from 1993 and he was selling them for only $7.50! And with a "bulk order" we only paid $1.00 for shipping! Score!
Grand total: 38.5 cents! To mail a post card. Because the idea of putting a kiwi on my beautiful reply card was so horrific that it gave me nightmares for a week.
And this is to what the matrimonial-industrial complex has reduced us.
UPDATE: Over drinks last night, Emerson pointed out that there were only 18 stamps in the books that we bought, not 20. That actually brings our total per stamp price, after shipping, to 43 cents! So I guess we didn't win, except insomuch as we refused to kowtow to the post office's cruel choice of stamps and ended up getting exactly what we wanted. And if you really stop to think about it, it was only an extra dollar over first class postage, and only $16 more than post card rates. And that's only like half a table-cloth!
It Is Cordial, and It Is on the Way
There's no turning back now . . . invitations are in the mail! They are coming to you complete with carefully selected ink and paper, obsessively guarded design motifs, potentially confusing artwork and 1.4 ounces of pure love. Oh, and vintage postage stamps. But more on that in another post!
Click through for a sneak preview of what you'll find in your box on Saturday.
The surprise visual theme is evergreens - specifically longleaf pine and rosemary. These plants are not only symbolic (in a rather obvious way) but they can be associated with each stop on our journey, from New Hampshire to Fire Island to the Shawangunks to the Piedmont. Thanks again to our geniuses, David and Anders, who - by creating such a fantastic invitation - have set expectations very high for everything else!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Well, Would You Look at That?!
We have already previewed the cool, stylish, eminently helpful info sheet that will be enclosed with our invitations. Those bad boys have since been redesigned and vastly improved (thanks, Dave!) and are headed by FTP to the offset printer as we speak.
For those of you who cannot wait a week, or those of you who won't be getting an invitation (sorry - we're just not that into you), Organic Gardening magazine has published a two-page round-up of cool spots in the now-hot town of Durham, NC! It even features our wedding site and caterer . . .
I don't know whether I should be sad or happy that this is 90% identical to what we'll be sending out. It does have the effect of making us look particularly uncreative. Then again, we did produce our thing first!
Also, our maps will be far more useful. These cartoony schematic maps make me a little crazy. If one were navigating town in a helicopter, rather than a rented car, they would do some good. And it's not just magazines that fake the maps - chambers of commerce across the country are doing the same thing. Let me just say, our Cape Cod "map" caused us more than a negligible amount of heartache.
And, maybe it's not Organic Gardening's mission to do so, but they have missed an important part of Durham culture - even for the casual visitor - by failing to mention baseball at all. One of the very coolest things about this town is its devotion to the Bulls, which far outstrips its support of the Blue Devils.
Friday, July 25, 2008
No Wonder Postal Workers Go Crazy!
We are shopping for stamps. Our reply card - because we are pennywise - is a postcard.
Our postage options for this item are:
Tropical Fruit
or
Bighorn Sheep plus American Clock.
VS. 
+ 
Why, Postmaster? Why? We would have settled for a plain American flag, or a white rectangle with a number on it.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Papercuts
Last weekend, another pair of dear friends came down from New York to keep us company. One will be a reader during our wedding ceremony, and the other will be designing our invitations. We have written a lot about his talent already.
I suppose, as of this week, I shouldn't say, "he will be designing," but "he is designing." The work of design is intense and arduous. We spent three hours on Saturday mostly looking at fonts and typing our names over and over. Minute differences in the shape of the serif or the height of the small-caps make a visible difference.
Awesomely, we found the "look" that suits us and our celebration best. It fits our country style, patriotic motif and old-fashioned-casual aesthetic. I wish I could share it! But I'll wait until the invitations are in the mail, so I don't spoil the surprise.
Meanwhile, I'll share something cool that's also going in the envelope.
We know that many couples like to provide their out-of-town guests with guidance and information. How else would they know where to brunch?! But our impulse is to plan, plan and plan some more. So, with the help of our designer, we'll be making a cool orientation packet to send along with the invitation, and here's a little snapshot:
Monday, February 25, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
Save-The-Date
A seemingly simple task, right? Unless, like us, you're somewhat obsessed with being unique. We just don't feel like any of you want a picture of us on your 'fridge. Right? So what are we going to do that feels custom and costs . . . um, nothing? Keep an eye on your p.o. boxes, folks, something cool is on the way.
Not that we have any idea what that's gonna be, at this point.
Oh, here's the essential information you need: October 11, 2008. RDU. It's a lock.
UPDATE: We bought the save-the-date postcards last weekend at the North Carolina Museum of Art in Raleigh. The gift-shop ladies were a little surprised that we would buy 60 of the same postcard, and they asked us "What for?" We both hesitated, as if they wouldn't understand, and it wouldn't be worth explaining. Michael said, "Invitations," and I said, "Save-the-date cards." I would think that this tentative, compound answer was somehow perfectly clear. But I still don't know why we were so hesitant about saying it.
Anyhow, the important piece of information here is that we plan to mail these cards on March 1. That means we have two weeks to finalize the hotel room rate and to register for gifts. Holy crap!
