I started to worry about seating charts. As in many things, I wanted to get a head start on what I know from experience can be a complicated and tedious task.
So, we developed a system. Using color-coded Post-It notes, we began arranging guests at 13 tables. It was fun at first. Give me a yellow! (Confirmed attendee.) Give me a blue! (Expected, but not confirmed). We need two purples over here! (Seat fillers, like at the Oscars.)
Unfortunately, fun turned to frustrating quickly. Do you want to know why - and how you can help?
Because we are waiting for 98 RSVPs! I know, I know - you have 9 days still to reply. But why wait?! Give us a hand people, send them in - especially if we don't know if we are holding 0, 2, 4 or 6 seats for you!
So, we tried and tried to figure out a seating chart and all the possible permutations of classmates, distant relatives and political confederates. As you can see from the visual evidence on the right, we eventually hit a wall and - shamefully! - resorted to drowning our sorrows in fruity cocktails.
Keep us out of rehab! Send your postage-paid RSVP cards today!
(n.b., These fruity cocktails are not a preview of what will be served at our wedding reception.)
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
No Postage Required if Mailed in the United States
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Roommates Wanted
Over the last week or so, several people have asked me if I knew anyone who needed to share a room; I of course said I'd keep my ear out. And as I work diligently to play wedding guest matchmaker, I thought I'd open this post up for those who wish to bypass my immensely awesome skills.
So feel free to use the comment section to find your dream hotel-mate....
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Of Vase and Pens
I may have announced already - and somewhat triumphantly - that we are past the "planning" stage and entering the "execution." (The equivocation is intentional.)
It has actually been rather difficult to write entertaining, interesting and meaningful blog posts during this phase. It's hard to imagine that anyone would want to hear about our quest for the right flower bowls (footed compote or tole basket?), choosing the right pens for addressing invitations (brown ink - fine point - but not too fine), or yet another disquisition on matching shoes to belts (although - I GOT 'EM!).
This final phase is what separates grooms from Groomzillas.
One, of course, wishes to measure one's neuroses against others'. In this way, one could detect a "norm." There are virtually no friends, colleagues or (certainly) mothers who will ever tell you to your face that you're being crazy or - likeliest of all - annoying. I find myself wondering, "Is that a phony smile? Or are my envelopes genuinely fascinating?"
It is the beauty of the blogosphere, I suppose. No one will read these ramblings unless they are truly amazed (or worried?) by the involuted decision-making apparatus of this groom's addled brain.
To summarize: this week we finalized our invitation design, ordered envelopes and a return-address stamp, bought pens and ink, picked up our SHOES, paid the deposit for musicians, booked bachelor party travel, rescheduled our dance lesson and stared glassy-eyed at the shelves of a craft store.
This is life in the minutiae lane!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Papercuts
Last weekend, another pair of dear friends came down from New York to keep us company. One will be a reader during our wedding ceremony, and the other will be designing our invitations. We have written a lot about his talent already.
I suppose, as of this week, I shouldn't say, "he will be designing," but "he is designing." The work of design is intense and arduous. We spent three hours on Saturday mostly looking at fonts and typing our names over and over. Minute differences in the shape of the serif or the height of the small-caps make a visible difference.
Awesomely, we found the "look" that suits us and our celebration best. It fits our country style, patriotic motif and old-fashioned-casual aesthetic. I wish I could share it! But I'll wait until the invitations are in the mail, so I don't spoil the surprise.
Meanwhile, I'll share something cool that's also going in the envelope.
We know that many couples like to provide their out-of-town guests with guidance and information. How else would they know where to brunch?! But our impulse is to plan, plan and plan some more. So, with the help of our designer, we'll be making a cool orientation packet to send along with the invitation, and here's a little snapshot:
Friday, May 9, 2008
Tableaux Vivants
In the perpetual effort to do something unique - have I mentioned that I am very competitive? - the issue of long vs. round vs. square tables keeps cropping up.
Long banquet tables are very hot right now. They have a dramatic look and good symbolism, with everyone sitting together like Medicis in their piano nobile. It would seem that they are more expensive, because you have to rent more long tables than round tables to seat the same number of people. I also assume the long linens are more expensive, because the whole rental system is designed to punish you for having ideas. And, you need more flower arrangements for this to look right.
The other trendy thing to do is to mix square tables (eight-tops, as any waiter would say) with round tables. You get a good visual impact thanks to the variety, and you retain the flexibility of those round tables, which can seat 7 - 10 people.
Finally, what is probably the sensible thing to do, is to stick with all round tables and to be creative with the tabletop decor. Rounds have lots of room for "tablescaping" with flowers, lanterns, and other stuff.
The real complicating factors here are budget and space. I have planned countless catered affairs before, but they were gala fundraisers with huge budgets. And they were in New York. The circumstances here are so different, it's like starting from scratch. And our caterer is so accustomed to working with wealthy clients that she hasn't been very detailed or concerned with budget issues; her estimate didn't even show the rentals itemized.
I guess when we do our rentals walk-through in two weeks, we'll have to demand three separate, detailed estimates, and we'll try to maximize. I just hate having these ideas hanging out there in the purely theoretical realm, when we have only 5 months left. ACK!!!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Still a New Yorker in My Cold, Bitter Heart
Many of you have heard me complaining about the incompetence of salespeople here. We made five telephone calls to the Marriott that were never returned. It took a crazy long time for the caterer to follow-up with us. Even the farm gives us nerve-wracking long periods of radio silence, though they have the excuse of being busy delivering baby animals and hand-crafting delicious cheese.
Today my fury boiled over in the direction of Capital Limo. I found their contact info on a directory of "gay friendly" businesses, so I thought I'd reward them by proposing our transportation needs to them. I sent an electronic request for a quote on February 20. Three weeks later, having heard nothing, I asked again.
The reply I got said, "We got your request, and our reply must have landed in your spam box," which: No, it didn't. But, I was willing to let it go, because that's a white lie we all use sometimes.
The reply was also meant to have a PDF attached, which it did not. Again, I was willing to let that go, because I forget the attachment more often than I remember it.
So, setting aside the facts that 1. they should have replied to me right away and 2. this email should have included a quote and 3. they should be calling me on the phone anyway, I decided to call.
Emerson: "I'm calling for M***, please."
Fool: "M*** is not in the office today, is there something I can help you with?"
Emerson: "Yes, she tried to email me a quote, but the attachment was garbled."
Fool: "Oh, well, why don't you call another time when she's in the office?"
Or, why don't YOU look up the quote and fax it to me, and/or take a message for her to call me back first thing tomorrow?! Lazy!!
Anyhow, I'm rather pleased with my follow-up email, thus:I'm going to have to go with another transportation company. You all should attend a sales workshop or something.
Best wishes,
Emerson
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Grooms on Film
This week, we are interviewing the final candidates for photographer. I wouldn't have predicted that we'd need to interview them--looking at their work and their rate cards would seem sufficient. But as I read somewhere, "Other than your mother, the photographer is the person you're going to be talking to most on your wedding day. Make sure it's someone you get along with."
Both our photographers tend toward the "journalistic" style that's become very popular (and very expensive) these days. Both do a good deal of sports photography, and have a good eye for movement--few static poses here. Andrew has done some beautiful nature and fashion photography, and I think he brings a fresh eye to even the most conventional family grouping. Leslie composes beautiful pictures that show a good sense of space and textures, as well as "in-between" moments that give you a feel for the flow of an event.
Not four weeks ago, I was determined to go with a non-professional photographer, such as a student. Turns out, not even the most thrifty bargain brides eschew the professional photographer. Friends are problematic, students are unreliable, disposable cameras on the tables are just a ridiculous idea. Photography is as important as music, apparently, and is meant to take up about the same amount of the budget.
What really converted my thinking, though, was when I calculated how photographers make a living. I imagine that no photographer does more than 25 weddings in a good year. If that's supposed to add up to a living wage, what is the unit cost? Not cheap!
Friday, February 22, 2008
Country Roads
We took Michael's parents out to the farm on Monday, which turned out to be a gorgeous, sunny, 70-degree day. I could tell they had misgivings before we left. Perhaps because we had forewarned his mother and sister that they should wear closed-toe shoes to the wedding on account of the goat poo. But when Michael's dad stepped out of the car, he said, "It is gorgeous out here!" One parent down, three to go!
Elodie Farms is a real, working goat farm. It's not a stage-set for rural fantasies like le Petit Hameau or this place in Apex. That means there are live animals and they poo right where they're standing. They also make noise and smell . . . um, earthy. It may be a bit too rustic for some tastes, but I find it irresistable.
The family warmed up to the rustic setting very quickly. Thanks undoubtedly to the lovely weather and the pretty drive through the hills of Durham County's old tobacco country. Thanks as well to the abundance of adorable baby goats, stumbling all over the property.
This is an exciting time of year because February is kidding time. Anne, who operates the farm along with its owner Dave, says that they expect 75 kids this month. That means lots of nursing mothers, which means lots of goat milk, which means marathon hours of cheese making. Hopefully some of that cheese will end up on the buffet at our wedding. We are nuts for the stuff, and it is hard to come by. Last fall we tasted their Goat Gruyere melted over French onion soup--divinity in a bowl.
We are also hoping that the new barn will be built in plenty of time for the big day. The old barn is coming down now, though its half-demolished skeleton looks no worse than the shambles it was. Dave and Anne are assembling the financing they need for the new construction, which will be able to accomodate more guests for their renowned monthly dinners and weddings like ours, as well as meetings and retreats. It will also have a new dairy and a cheese kitchen. I hope that our commitment to them and the guarantee of future business earns them points on their loan application!
After cooing and admiring the kids, and watching Gunndi gleefully run around with the farm dogs, Michael's mother and I took a look at the farmhouse porch where we plan to have the rehearsal dinner and the cocktail hour. It's a 100-year-old house with graceful proportions and lanterns that hang from the eaves in front. A bit run-down but undeniably quaint. One of the dogs had left a rather mutilated carcass--some kind of mammal--right on the step. I think that tops the list of unwanted wedding gifts. Michael's mom may require a little more persuasion than his dad.
Wear those closed-toe shoes, ladies!
Friday, February 15, 2008
Save-The-Date
A seemingly simple task, right? Unless, like us, you're somewhat obsessed with being unique. We just don't feel like any of you want a picture of us on your 'fridge. Right? So what are we going to do that feels custom and costs . . . um, nothing? Keep an eye on your p.o. boxes, folks, something cool is on the way.
Not that we have any idea what that's gonna be, at this point.
Oh, here's the essential information you need: October 11, 2008. RDU. It's a lock.
UPDATE: We bought the save-the-date postcards last weekend at the North Carolina Museum of Art in Raleigh. The gift-shop ladies were a little surprised that we would buy 60 of the same postcard, and they asked us "What for?" We both hesitated, as if they wouldn't understand, and it wouldn't be worth explaining. Michael said, "Invitations," and I said, "Save-the-date cards." I would think that this tentative, compound answer was somehow perfectly clear. But I still don't know why we were so hesitant about saying it.
Anyhow, the important piece of information here is that we plan to mail these cards on March 1. That means we have two weeks to finalize the hotel room rate and to register for gifts. Holy crap!
