Thursday, April 10, 2008

When You Care Enough...

So I haven't cut my hair in weeks. This is partially due to being lazy and partially due to being busy writing my grant (I call it my "grant hair", like "strike beard"). It is also partially due to not really having found a good place to get a haircut. But ultimately it is because I have this stupid idea that I will grow my hair really, really long and then when I go to New York next month I will get a kick-ass haircut at Bumble and Bumble. However, my laziness and apprehension may have been a fortuitous event that will help me with my new idea (but more on that later...)

Another seemingly unrelated issue is wedding rings. I'm too lazy (notice the theme) to check to see if we've blogged about rings yet, but suffice it to say we've batted a few ideas around. We'll probably have our engagement rings bonded together. I know, it's cheesy but also really sweet and awesome because we'll probably have Little King, the jewelers who made my ring, do it since they are quite talented and do some amazing things with palladium. What, however, does this have to do with my hair?...

Enter, Life Gem ("because love lives on..."), the company that will, for an exhorbitant fee, turn your loved one's ashes into a diamond. Oh yes. You did not misread that. They will take your loved one's cremated remains and using a patented technology of high pressure in a low oxygen, high nitrogen environment, turn your dead spouse into a gemstone.

But why wait until death! Love lives on now! So for those customers who are impatient and desperate to have their loved one's carbon molecules fashioned into an ordered crystal array, Life Gem can use hair! So all I have to do is grow a bunch of hair, and save it when I get it cut off, which I'm sure will go over real well when I tell my hairdresser at Bumble and Bumble that she can't spill any of it on the floor because I'm going to turn it into a wedding ring.

And of course, this really won't work for Emerson, who has no real hair to speak of. Perhaps if he gets started now he can save up enough fingernail clippings by October. They should be just as carboniferous as hair. Or maybe some dessicated blood. Somehow that seems even more romantic! Really the opportunities are endless.

Now as I haven't run this past Emerson yet, you may not be seeing diamond rings made out of our extraneous organs. But if he comes asking one of you for advice, play up Life Gem. And make sure to emphasize that it is absolutely, positively not the slightest bit creepy...

2 comments:

words and steel said...

Ah, Little King! We were really planning to have my engagement ring designed by the guys over there... then we moved to California. Drats.

got pictures?!

Peonies and Polaroids said...

I read about a place where you can give them bone cells from your jaw and they grow it into a ring. Which is a lovely thought.