Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Georgia On My Mind

This is not a political blog. Certainly the very subject of gay marriage touches on the political and we have occasionally waxed philosophical on current events and social relevance of marriage equality. But this is not a place for political musings, per se.

Except in this post, where I voice my wholehearted support for Russian dominance over pesky former Soviet republics. This might strike you as against my heretofore support for the plight of the Georgian people and my previous pronouncements of Russians as "sneaky" or "evil" or "drunks". But it will be more understandable if you realize that the Russians inevitably have their sights on Ukraine and you may remember that our dance instructor, Yuliya, is Ukrainian and as of last week it is my sincerest wish that Yuliya and all of her people suffer miserably in a Soviet gulag where they are forced to teach salsa to rhythmless orangutans with anger management deficiencies.

This is because Yuliya, during what I believe to have been a beautiful executed left-end leap into a well-structured twinkle, crinkled her nose with a look of disgust which suggested I had just shat directly onto her feet and said, in a tone unbecoming of a lady or educator, "Can you even hear the music?" This was promptly followed by a suggestion that from now on maybe Emerson should lead. Needless to say, Yuliya will not be invited to the wedding. And I am seriously considering launching an investigation into her credentials because in all my years of ballroom dancing I have never witnessed such an obvious lapse in judgment. This will only serve to inflate Emerson's already bloated ego as well as cause irreparable damage to my increasingly fragile self-image. I hope Yuliya is satisfied with herself.

7 comments:

Desaray said...

down with yuliya!

Desaray said...

i mean georgia!

Desaray said...

i mean ukrainians! all of 'em! everybody!

hwong14 said...

hilarious!

Silvia said...

Oh what an evil biotch. Just for that, she's going to suffer of restless legs syndrome!

(bride.) said...

OK, so I just discovered your blog through Deseray's, and I'm in love. With both of you.

(bride.) said...

crap, I meant DesAray. I used to be a good speller. Down with spellcheck. And former SSRs. And their evil exported dance instructors.